Monday, December 27, 2010

Sometimes my mind runs away.  I wish I could fix it.  If I get to thinking about anything further ahead than this day or maybe week, I can't stop my mind from running away and I get scared and I start to shut down and I want to run away. I don't know how to make it better. Do I go back to school or do I look for a full time job? If I go to school do I try to work too? I am so scared that everything won't be ok.


Food doesn't make anything feel better.  I guess even if I fail at this diet, I am learning some important life lessons.

I don't feel well today

Taking the day off my diet.  I will pick it back up tomorrow.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

I'm better now, and still on my diet.  EXTRA gum makes a mint chocolate chip icecream 5 calorie sugar free gum.  I think it will save my sanity. Thank you EXTRA.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010


Today I have a headache and I just want chocolate and might quit this stupid diet and be able to eat cheese and then go jogging. gurrrrrr

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

About the HCG diet

I was replying to a comment from a friend and it was getting long so I figured I would just make another post to answer all of her questions in my usual over researched, overly opinionated style. You will excuse the lack of brevity.

Here is what she asked:
Did you research it ahead of time? Is it healthy? Expensive? I must say that I don't remember you having that much weight to lose. But, awesome job

I have been researching the diet since October. My dad recommended it to me because he works with(and is good friends with) a chiropractor who markets it because his wife was able to lose a ton of weight and has kept it off.  I had heard about it before and thought it sounded bogus so I was really skeptical but I trust my dad so I decided to actually look into it.  Research online is hard because most of what you will find are junk stories and people who know nothing about the diet telling you that it is unsafe, unhealthy, stupid, and that you are lazy for even considering it and to get up off your computer and move.  I get where they are coming from and yes exercise and eating right are always the best options for long term weight management and health but I am someone who needs results now if I am going to do anything(another byproduct of my weird mind) not to mention my still healing sprained ankle makes a lot of exercise difficult.

So I went to the source. There are two big publications about the HCG diet, Pounds and Inches by Dr. A.T.W. Simeons and The Weight loss Cure They Don't Want You To Know About by Kevin Trudeau.  Pounds and Inches is the original publication by the original Dr. who was working with patients that were, obese, had hormone imbalances or abnormal fat deposits that they could not fix no matter what they tried, and he found that the administration of the HCG hormone in combination with a very low calorie diet was able to improve their condition drastically and patients were able to maintain their weight loss with ease. This book/manuscript details his findings, and lays out his protocol for the diet.  It really is an interesting paper, some of it has to be taken with a grain of salt because it was written in the 50's but overall the concept is intriguing.

I didn't read anything written by Trudeau, because he is one of the things that anti HCG people dig at too. He was jailed on felony fraud charges.  So I didn't even bother with him. But I did learn that all he did in terms of HCG is basically republish Dr Simeons findings, which is why mainstream America knows about it today. 

Pounds and Inches made a lot of sense so I decided to go with it. I was doing a little more reasearch online and found this that I thought was fantastic. He is disputing the claim that the FDA hasn't approved HCG as a weight loss drug:

"It is the 500 Calories Diet that causes you to lose the weight, and the hcg Tells your body what weight to lose, the subcutaneous body fat and the HCG works with the adrenals, thyroids and other glands to stop you from being hungry, and to raise your metabolism."

 As far as whether or not it is healthy, I think it is.  I know it isn't healthy for a person to eat only 500 calories a day typically, but, that is where the HCG hormone comes in.  It works best for me to think of it in terms of a pregnant woman in her first trimester(or any other time she is so sick she can't keep any food down) because HCG is what a womans body naturally produces as soon as she is pregnant.  Under normal circumstances there would be no way that baby could survive much less thrive while mom is throwing up everything she eats. Because the body makes HCG though, if mom isn't consuming enough calories to maintain her and baby, the HCG tells the body to pull its nutrients from moms fat stores to feed baby.  So even though mom is feeling like crap and maybe loosing weigh, baby is growing healthy and strong.  So if you remove the pregnancy from the picture, HCG is telling your body to burn up your extra fat stores because the calories that you are taking in aren't enough by themselves to support you. It made sense to me. Also, because the HCG triggers the release of stored fats, your body DOES have the amount of nutrients it needs so you shouldn't feel tired or crabby like most of us do when we just don't eat.  
Personally, I feel fantastic.  I have had more energy, been more motivated, been happier.  I do get a little hungry, but I figure that a little hungry is a part of every diet, I am retraining my mind an body to be fine and dandy on less food than it is used to, so a little hungry is ok with me.  

As far as expense is concerned, my dad called in a favor and got me a 6 week supply drops and a cookbook, so my experiment didn't cost me anything. But the drops are relatively inexpensive.  Here is a link to the Chiropractors website, Lighthouse Chiropractic, Dr Shane Harada
I would be totally skeptical of buying things like this online, but I know Dr. Shane personally, he has been a family friend for years now.  My dad works with him and my brother in law is doing all of his marketing. Another reason I decided to try the diet, I trusted my source and knew I could go back to him if I had a problem or concern. Some people say that the homeopathic drops aren't as effective and you should definitely go to the doctor to get them, I don't know.  I have homeopathic drops and it works for me.

I have put on about 60 lbs in the last 2 years, and in a little more than a week I have lost almost 10. My favorite thing about this diet, honestly, is that it is teaching me that I can make fantastic, delicious, totally healthy meals with very few ingredients, and I don't have to listen to my cravings, I will be just fine, and feel fantastic.  I don't know if it is the "weight loss cure" it is sometimes touted to be but I know that for me it is changing my body and mind in a completely positive, healthy way and I couldn't be happier.

Monday, December 20, 2010

One week on HCG

After 1 week, I have lost 7.5 lbs, 8 inches, and feel better than I have in a really long time.  I'm sold.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010


When a certain person only brings frustration into your life and makes you feel like you are completely worthless and evil every time you speak, should they be allowed to continue being a part of your life? What if they are family?

I had a friend tell me once that she didn't care who someone was, if they were crappy human beings they weren't a part of her life and that included family.  I really like that idea but unfortunately I can't completely shun my mother. I have Little Brother at my house and that, unfortunately, ties me to her. Especially since I called her out on not even trying to help us out with him while taking money from my dad and saying it supported him right along with the other siblings.  (I have gotten $25 a month since, better than nothing, but still laughable)

I honestly think she is a selfish, lying bitch, and she treats me like I am a bad person(and maybe I am but I took a kid she didn't want off her hands, at the risk of my own marriage, and he is doing better here than he ever has.) I wish that I could just say good bye and have nothing else to do with her for the rest of my life.  But I guess, at least until Little Brother is 18, I have to maintain some contact with her. Dang it!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

The first day of the rest of my life

Gonna catch hell from someone, I am sure of it, but tomorrow I am starting the HCG diet.  Before you say anything, just know if you have anything bad to say I will ignore and delete you. I have been researching this diet for 3 months now and feel like it is a good thing for me and I know EXACTLY what I am doing. I am really excited, I really have nothing to lose.  Here we go!